2023, at the age of 23 was the year I finally felt like I got my independence when I moved out my family home, and bought my first home. On 2 September 2023, I woke up and went about doing my normal routine going to the gym. After going to the gym, I was hosting an ‘end of summer’ party for all my friends, but I started to feel a little off. I had a temperature, a headache, and aches on my body as if I had the flu. As the day went on, it got progressively worse, so I called the party off and went to bed.
Throughout the whole night, I was back and forth to the toilet vomiting, and couldn’t keep so much as water down. Later in the evening, I went to go back to bed, and I passed out on the floor. This happened a 2nd time in the middle of the morning, and my vision had almost completely gone. By the time I woke up the next morning, I had lost all feelings in my legs and couldn’t stand up, had blacked out vision, and had what looked like purple bruises all over my legs, stomach and arms, so I called 111 and was booked into hospital straight away.
I live in a flat, so a friend had to put me over their shoulder to carry me to and from the car. At this point, I felt so small and weak. When I got to the hospital, they did all their usual checks, and another doctor came in to look at the marks on my legs. Their first reaction was to do the glass test. As soon as they did this, they went quiet and went to find another nurse. Everything from here happened so fast. They told me I had to go to another building of the hospital, but had no time to wait on an ambulance. At this point, I thought I only had the flu or tonsillitis, so I started to realise it was more serious.
When I got to this part of the hospital, the ratio of me to doctors was about 1:10. They were doing various blood tests at the same time, and trying to get as many tests done as they could, and I was put straight onto an oxygen tank. After this, the Head Nurse came in and told me I was being moved to the ICU for suspected meningitis and sepsis. She told me not to listen to the stories I’d probably heard about losing limbs or dying. Truth be told, I didn’t know a single one of these stories, and I was terrified.
In the ICU, I was monitored overnight before being transferred to the Infectious Diseases Unit. I don’t think it sunk in the severity of what I was going through until I asked, ‘so I don’t get to go home tonight?’ and the nurse laughed and told me I’d be there for a long time.
I spent 10/14 days in the Infectious Diseases Unit until everything stabilised. I’m an extremely independent person, so to go from doing everything yourself to not being able to stand, walk, or even wash yourself was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to go through. I made a list every day of all the little things I managed to do, like peel an orange or lift the cup for a drink. Looking back on the list, the things are so mundane, but at the time it really was progress and was the only way I got through every day and see the light at the end.
The nurses in the hospital were amazing, and really made me feel more at ease in a scary, dark time. They would come in to sit and talk about my day or life outside of the hospital, braided my hair, and one lady would even come in and sing and dance around my room just to bring a little bit of happiness to my day. My family used to come up and see me every day before bed, and I would show them all the new things I could do that day or read them my list of small wins. I remember how proud I felt showing them walking a few steps around the room – I think we both needed to see that progress was happening, and I would get better. It wasn’t all sad memories, there were some really funny stories too, like when my sister took me outside in my wheelchair. I won’t even get into the carnage that happened!
When I eventually was able to walk again after lots of physio and tears, and my tests starting to level out again, I was finally able to leave the hospital. I had to spend the next few weeks living back at my parents as I still wasn’t able to move around much, walked with a walking stick, and at this point was still covered in the purple marks from the sepsis. I found adjusting to my new way of life hard, especially feeling self-conscious going anywhere, as I was worried people would look at my arms or legs and question what they were. I felt extremely lucky to be alive, but mentally I was exhausted from the daily battle, and having to relearn everything again.
A year on, I’m back to full fitness and made a full recovery. I went back to work gradually after about a month, and once I was back at work, started back at the gym again and going about my normal sociable life. It’s important that you don’t compare your progress to anyone around you, and take your recovery at your own speed and what feels right to you. People told me I’d take months to recover, which mentally I did, but physically I recovered a lot quicker than I expected. This won’t be the case for everyone, and that’s OK.
The scars and marks are still on my body, but they don’t define me. They define my strength to be where I am today and show my story. Some days are still hard, and it’s hard to accept and grieve what I went through. You must be kind to yourself, and it's important to feel all the emotions to allow yourself to do this. The anger at why it happened, the confused feeling of how, the fear of will it happen again, the happiness of bringing family and friends together in hard times, and the pride in yourself for battling the disease.
To anyone going through any of this, you are through the worst of it. You have fought off a disease, and please never forget how strong you are for doing that. The days and months to come ahead will be hard, but take it a day at a time, and always remember your strength. I know it’s a lot easier to say that now in my position than it physically is to do in the moment. It’s the most traumatic and tough journey that feels like there is no end, but I hope my story gives you hope and determination that there is light at the end of the very, very long dark tunnel.
Surround yourself with the people that matter, they’ll also be hurting too. My family and friends were my rocks through it all, even though I know it was a tough time for them to see someone they loved in the state I was in. From playing dominoes on my bed together as a family, late night talks and holding me while I cried, and even my friends being a shoulder for my family, I’m forever grateful for the people I have close to me. One of my friends even just did a half-marathon to raise money for meningitis, what a support system!
