When did you know something was wrong?
The day Alfie became unwell was an entirely normal day - a lovely day actually. We had been for a family brunch with our toddler, been to our usual toddler group and had an afternoon stroll. Alfie had been completely his normal little self during the daytime. His brother had a very mild cough and snotty nose (like 99% of two year olds most of the time) but nothing that made us bat an eye. Alfie had coughed very occasionally during the day but again nothing untoward. At bedtime, I recall saying to my husband that he had a real preference for feeding sides as he was breastfed and I was encouraging him to try and feed from the other. In retrospect, this was a sign of neck stiffness but of course, at the time we didn’t think this because this can be super normal breastfeeding behaviour and often babies will favour one breast over the other.
It was at around midnight that Alfie woke in his bedside crib screaming. But a different type of cry and me and my husband both knew something was wrong in this moment. I picked him up and he felt boiling. After checking his temperature, it was 38.1C and given his age of just five weeks we knew that any fever at this age was serious so we called 999. Whilst waiting we took him out of his sleep bag and reduced his clothing, my husband packed us a bag and the crew arrived really quickly. They checked Alfie over and agreed he needed to be taken straight to ED (emergency department) as he was floppy, his temperature had risen to 38.4C and his heart rate and respiratory rate were both raised too.
Looking back, what stood out to us was that parental gut instinct. I urge any parents to listen to their gut and trust it if they feel something might be wrong and to highlight that any fever over 38C in a baby until twelve weeks should be treated seriously.
Was meningitis something you were aware of?
Although I was aware of meningitis, I would say my knowledge was limited and focused on the ‘rash’ we always hear about. Alfie developed something a few hours into admission that we still aren’t sure if it was a rash or mottled skin. So I urge parents to never assume it can only be meningitis if there’s a rash present or to wait for a rash before acting. I suspected sepsis for Alfie, given my background as a midwife I knew he was sick, but didn’t think of meningitis specifically until we started investigations.
How was Alfie’s recovery?
Alfie’s recovery has generally been super positive. We have had follow-up care and checks that have all been reassuring. He does have gut troubles, potentially because of dysbiosis after all the medications he needed and he has had a journey with intolerances/allergies as a result. But overall, we have a healthy, thriving baby – something I will never take for granted. Psychologically it has been challenging, and the second time mum confidence I expected to feel was crushed. It is something that is getting easier as time passes but it was a very difficult couple of months that followed after getting home. I had vivid dreams and felt the impact of the traumatic event harder than I thought I would, perhaps not helped by being acutely postpartum and on a hormonal rollercoaster.
Was there anyone who helped your family through the experience?
The team who looked after us in the hospital was phenomenal. I will forever be grateful to the consultant who made decisions and advocated for Alfie when I was too emotional to make decisions. To the registrar who instantly knew he was unwell, scooped us up and began treating Alfie, I feel without her action our outcome wouldn’t have been so positive. The nursing staff who were so kind, gentle and compassionate making sure Alfie had every medication and observation he needed. And the wonderful nurse who spotted an opportunity for me to be a mum in all the worry and offered for me to give Alfie a little bath when he was waiting for new cannulas and had stabilised. I treasure that moment with him so much and it felt so nice to do a normal new mum and baby bonding activity.
Alfie’s first smile was whilst in hospital and I remember being in total awe of his strength in such a tiny body. I was also really keen to protect my breastmilk supply when Alfie was unwell as felt if there was one thing I could do to help him it was to be able to breastfeed him to help his recovery and immunity longer term. The specialist breastfeeding midwife came to make sure this was going ok without me even asking which meant so much. And to my friend and our midwife for Alfie’s birth, who sat with us through some of the hardest times, was my sounding board and rock.
