Jennifer Lynn Ryan's story

I don't know where to begin. My wife and kids got the flu, the kids were put on medication but not my wife because she was breastfeeding our baby Noah.

Jennifer's symptoms got worse we sought help three times and were told to just go home, it's only flu.

The last time she went to ER her fever was 106 and both arms were numb, headache, stiff neck, vomiting diarrhoea, sore body, bad rash and blood blisters on the back of arms and hands. The doctor said not to take her shirt off as they're not worried about those and to just go home, it's only the flu. I was confused.

The next night got even worse and I had to call an ambulance. I went to see Jennifer first thing in the morning and she was in ICU. The doctors said she was going to be fine and that I got her there in time.

We talked for 20 minutes. I cried, she said don't cry and asked about the kids and things. I went outside for a coffee and the phone rang. The doctor said to hurry back. She closed her eyes and lost consciousness.  They didn't let me see her and they rushed her back to the hospital that turned her away.

Jennifer never woke up, she had brain death and passed away January 14 2013. Jennifer and the kids were sick on January 3rd, the day after my sons 4th birthday.

I'm still in shock and feel totally let down. Jennifer didn't even get to see our baby walk as she was still breastfeeding. I'm totally devastated. She left us and all she needed was IV antibiotics. I'm a Mom and Dad to Nicholas who's four and Noah who's one and a half. I cry every night and ask why, why, why.

I don't know what to do or who to ask for help. I'm trying to take it day by day but I'm struggling with a broken heart. I feel so lost and alone but have to be strong for the boys. I've been doing this alone for eight months and it's taking its toll on me. Please is anybody there to help us, even a prayer. I'm feeling so empty without Jennifer and our poor boys have to grow up without their Mom. She was an amazing Mother, loving Wife, was always smiling and would help anyone.

I don't know what the future holds, I feel stuck in a dark desert with my boys. This shouldn't of happened and why us, why. Thanks for reading our story.

Christopher Cielecki
September 2013